Genius

Recently, a fellow writer friend and I were discussing suffering. And if it’s something we seek or that seeks us. If we are prone to dark thoughts or generally of a sunny disposition. If we are drawn to Dostoevsky or Austen.

Having studied Russian for more years than I can remember, I’m definitely in the Dostoevsky camp.

But suffering?

My friend then reminded me of Dostoevsky’s quote from “Notes from the Underground,” suffering is the sole origin of consciousness.

And consciousness (сознание in Russian) really means awareness of oneself. Which is more akin to the Greek word daimon, which simply put is your guiding spirit, or your true self.

But suffering?

It’s said that the two universal paths of spiritual transformation are love and suffering. Nothing else breaks our hearts open. And reveals to us our genius, our true selves, our purpose.

The world is hard enough right now and I don’t think we need to seek out suffering by taking the more arduous road or hurting our bodies or surrounding ourselves with nasty people. But, if suffering does knock on our door, maybe it’s enough to recognize its presence with compassion and kindness.

And ask what aspect of our genius it has come to reveal. And in that liminal space of questioning and exploring, we can channel our inner Rilke, who said, Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.